When I Grow Up, I'm Going to Be…

I'm 39 and there are still days I ponder the answer to this question. For years, I let my job title and position define me, but my perspective has changed. The question I’m starting to ask myself is, “WHO am I going to be?”

Our culture is consumed by identity. Who am I? Why am I here? It’s in us all. It’s the inherent need to know we’re loved, valued, and designed with a purpose. I spent most of my life searching for these answers. In my pursuit, I found myself chasing titles, position, possessions, and acceptance, but it was never enough. The hole, the emptiness, was always still there.

But then something happened. I came to my end, my bottom. I couldn’t do it on my own anymore, and I laid it all down at the feet of Jesus. My pain, past, mistakes, failures, family, everything I had been trying to carry on my own.

In that place of surrender something happened, it’s the image of the Holy Spirt I shared here. He picked me up and wrapped me in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirt, healing every broken place in my heart. Once my heart was healed and whole, he started filling it with truth and life. For the first time in my life, I could hear and receive it. Now I know who I am, because I truly know WHOSE I am. I’m the daughter of a king, royalty, the member of a family of chosen people.

Friends, he’s the only one who can give you identity. Money, social status, more stuff, your significant other, a new car, or house, the perfect body, drugs, sex, pornography, are never going to fill the void. Jesus is the only one who can. I encourage you to read through Ephesians 1 & 2. Ask him.

I thought it was crazy too, but if you ask, he’ll answer you, and when he does no one can take it away. No matter what life throws at you, or what people say, I promise your life will never be the same again. It will be a marked before/after Christ moment in your life.

As this post has been brewing in my heart, God keeps bringing our youngest son to mind. He was our surprise baby, not part of the plan! When I found out I was pregnant I cried, not happy tears. We weren’t in a good place in our marriage or financially. Life was messy to say the least.

Looking back, I’m overwhelmed by God's goodness. Cohen wasn’t part of our plan, but he was part of God’s! He brings a light, life, and so much joy to our family, and to everyone he meets. God knew exactly what he was doing. Cohen wasn't a mistake. He was created with a plan and purpose.

My husband told me one time he heard conception described like this; In Heaven all the little souls gather around God. They are all jumping up and down with their hands in the air exuberantly shouting, “Pick me! Pick me!” God scoops one up and says, “You! Yes, I have plans for you!”

This image takes my breath away. Every child conceived, he chose, and created with identity and purpose. You have a plan for your life, friend. God knows exactly who you are, and he wants to tell you, so you can step into your purpose.

I also have a word for moms and dads. Our identity is connected to our legacy. Pastor Stevie said yesterday, “Without a vision God’s people perish.” This resonated so loudly in my spirit. When I asked God for a battle plan for my family, I started creating the below.

Don’t mind my chicken scratch. God often speaks to me in trees. Nathan and I make up the trunk of our family tree and our roots are wrapped around the rock, which is the representation of Jesus, God, our faith. Our kids are the branches.

I encourage you to ask God for a vision for your family. When he does, start writing it down. Ask for words and scriptures for each family member. This is your battle plan.

On the days I say, “God are we going to make it? Because it doesn’t feel like it today!” He always brings me back to this. It’s what I cling to.

Take what he gives you, start praying and speaking blessing, anointing, and life into and over yourself, your spouse, and kids.

Friend, God knew every struggle and battle you were going to face in this life before you were born, and he created you with everything you need. You are a warrior my friend. Receive his truth and step into the purpose he created you for!

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalm 139:13-16

“The spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs- heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.” Romans 8:16-17