The Doc is In

Last week, I set out on a run. It’s one of my favorite times. I listen to worship music, think, and let go of what’s weighing me down. Out of nowhere, I found myself face down on the pavement. I sat stunned.

As I sat there, all I could hear was, “Get up. I told you to run! RUN!

I brushed off my bloodied hands and knees and picked myself up off the ground. As I kicked up my pace, tears mixed with sweat began to run down my cheeks. I pushed through side stiches and dry heaves and ran.

The past few weeks have been a battle. I’ve found myself on my knees more than once crying out, “What am I missing? What am I doing wrong?” Doubt has crept in.

But something happened on that run. With every step and tear my Daddy, my Healer, my Provider, He met me. He began mending the broken places that had begun to crack under the pressure and stresses of the last few weeks.

Like a proud Papa cheering from the stands, He reminded me, “I’m beside you and behind you daughter, and I’ve already cleared the path before you.”

I find myself relating to Peter more often than I should perhaps. I step out of my boat in faith. I’ve got my eyes fixed on Jesus, but then I start looking around. I become consumed with the “wind and waves”. I let the circumstances of my life become my focus, and so quickly I find myself sinking into discouragement, self-pity, depression, or anxiety. I begin to question, “Where are you God? I can’t see you anymore.”

But I think, just like he told Peter He says to us, “Fix your eyes on me! Take courage! Don’t be afraid! The wind and the waves may be crashing all around you, but when you set your eyes on me, your feet are on a rock!

This weekend as I sat looking down at my throbbing and mangled toe, I was reminded of when our kids were little learning to run and ride their bikes. I remember constantly shouting, “Don’t look at your feet. Look up! Keep your eyes on the road!”

He wants us to look up! These are the same words he’s been repeating to me over the last few months. I guess I needed a faceplant to drive it home. But I wonder if that’s how so many of us are. Until he literally brings us to our knees, do we forget to look up?

I read this quote from Elizabeth Barrett Browning a few weeks ago, “Earth’s crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God, but only he who sees, takes off his shoes, the rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.”

As I read this over and over, I thought, “God, don’t let me be a berry picker! I don’t want to miss you” I think so often through the ups and downs of life we associate our struggles and battles with something we’re doing wrong and need to fix, but I wonder if sometimes it’s God trying to get our attention, drawing us to himself.

It’s in the valleys where warriors are made. It’s where we learn to fight. Where He changes us. Strengthens us. It’s where our endurance is built.

As I sat on the pavement, the song First Love by Josh Baldwin began playing. The first verse says, “I’m returning to the secret place. Just an altar and a flame. Love is found here in our sacred space. I hear Your voice; I see Your face.”

I feel this pull home. I don’t believe it was a coincidence, I was literally running home. But home isn’t just a place. I think outside of heaven, home is His presence.

This morning as I was reading, He brought me to Acts 7:48-49. It says, “However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men. As the prophet says: “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. What kind of house will you build for me? Says the Lord.”

He wants to make His home in us. It used to only be a high priest who could enter the Holy of Holies, but through Jesus we have the same access.

I wonder how many of us need an appointment with our Healer. So often I think we treat Him like our Primary Care Physician. We check in for our “annual physical” or when we’re “sick”. But He desires so much more than that. He tells us, “Draw near to me, and I’ll draw near to you. Search, and you’ll find me.”

It’s like the concept of a Direct Care Physician. Going back to the good old days when doctors made house calls. You have direct access 24/7. No waiting room or lines.

And thank goodness our Healer is more than a wannabe Doc McStuffins who over “prescribes” shots. His bedside manner is much better too! 😉

Will He find you at the altar? At His table? He’s calling you friend. He wants to meet with you.

“The secret to victory is the secret place. You have to spend time with Him. Intimacy is the only way to power and victory.” ~Greg Locke

Hebrews 12: 1-3 “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Romans 5:3-4 “Not only so, but we also glory in sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”